Modern women are working hard, making more, kicking ass, and hoping for men to “get it.” They expect that Prince Charming will never ghost and he always knows exactly what to do on a date (and in bed)! Unfortunately, because both men AND women are operating on assumptions without an OVERT conversation about desires and preferences, women are pissed and everyone is frustrated.
What we have here is a mashup of millions of years of biology, 5000+ years of patriarchy, 100+ years of the industrial age, and we are only a couple decades into the information age. Many modern women are moving into more financial freedom and independence faster than the men they are dating. The rules and conditions of the game have shifted, but our expectations—and conversations—have not. As you can imagine (and have probably experienced), this is a shitshow! And there is hope!
Below are my Top 5 Tips to help you go from frustrated to fulfilled in your dating life.
A Final Note
I coach high-achieving women who are ALL committed to personal growth. Not one of them will be minimized or dissuaded from her mission, even if they have a biological urge to align with and conform (even if it’s a little) for survival purposes. We are not in survival, but it’s a tough one because it’s hardwired. I have done this walk myself and I’m in an ongoing conversation with my (progressive, VERY alpha male) husband about these issues. It is work EVEN for me.
We find the roots of these common narratives in Eurocentric “norms” and religious “mores” that emerged out of efforts to control (read: tamp down) a woman’s pleasure and the power and confidence that inevitably follows. The tips above will help you align with yourself, identify your desires, and bring more pleasure and aliveness into your life.
BONUS TIP: Growth Girlfriends
Connect with two or more women who also want to have conscious authentic relationships. Share these tips and do them together. Help one another stay on track. Offer feedback if you see another woman settling for something less than her vision.
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